MORON 5

1. Some stupid guy named Arif

He dated my friend for few months before starting avoiding her for no apparent reason. When confronted, he sadly told my friend that his ex was blackmailling him to get back together with her coz she used to abort his baby and now (then) ...read this carefully... she wanted to go and see his parents and show him the certificate that the abortion clinic issued as an evidence that anak mereka adalah tupai yang menebuk kelapa.

geez... i dunno that illegal abortion clinics issued certificate of honour yer... We hereby confirm that Tipah has successfully went thru' an abortion in our much esteemed clinic.... hohoohohoho - talk about certified moron

2. A local artist, i cant remember her name but she commited this blooper in an interview with a local newspaper few years ago.

"Saya percaya pada Dejavu, what goes around comes around" .... hehehe

3. an ex friend of mine. Yeah you read me right. Ex-friend.

She's fucking smart in her studies, has an enviable job and bla..bla..bla... earned my respect by being one of the most intelligent person i come across (but then again, i dont meet many people pun...) Came to my blog write horrible comments about me but her AP eh... IP gave her away... moron la you. Lain kali gi CC la, ok? Dun write hate mails from your workplace/residence... nak jadi cam Kak Pah nyer adik angkat ka? Ekekekekek... tak puas hati cakap depan2. If you are reading this. Aku tak nak kawan dgn kau! Ptuwekkkkk !!

4. Saya sendiri...isk..isk...

Kat Safiz hartamas,

saya: bos, kasik teh o ais tak mau ais, tak mau teh....
mamak: *confuse*
saya dan rakan2: *gelak ramai2... terutamanya saya yang berasa bangga dgn lawak sendiri..*
1 minit kemudian...
mamak: teh o ais tara ais, tara teh...

He served me air kosong.

5. Saya sendiri sekali lagi...

Hari ini kami ada makan2 dekat office. Saya ditugaskan membuat trifel. Saya tak pernah buat trifel, tapi saya pernah tengok kawan saya buat trifel. Kacang je buat trifel. Buat apa nak mintak resepi trifel. Recipes are for dummies. Mengikut naluri hati seorang wanita, saya pun memasukkan 2 cawan tepung kastard ke dalam setengah cawan air panas. Beberapa saat kemudian terbentuklah gumpalan kuning liat yang keras. Langsung tidak sama dengan cairan kastard yang kawan saya biasa buat. Mana saya tau tepung kastard cepat keras. Ceh.